Trying To Control Conflict

Trying To Control Conflict

Conflict is bound to happen. Whether it’s at work, home, or school. Whether it’s with your spouse, your child, your friend, or your ex. Conflict is most certainly a guarantee in life.  Why? Because conflict is everywhere.

We all experience conflict in our daily life, but it’s a choice to act on it and it’s a choice on how we respond.
 
When Mark and I have to handle conflict with someone we take and acknowledge these steps.
 
1)  Assume the conflict:
This is the easiest step.  When Mark and I find ourselves in a situation we ALWAYS assume the worst.  We HOPE for the best, but we assume the worst. 
Unfortunately, 9 out of 10 times we are right on seeing the outcome of whatever storm is on the horizon. When Mark and I assume the worst (IE assuming the conflict and assume the response and action we will receive) we are extremely pleased when the opposite happens.   I have always been the type of person to assume the worst and hope for the best.  It’s a lot easier of a let down.
 
2)  Try to come to an understanding:
Mark and I are VERY good at compromising.  If we do one thing, one way for a certain amount of time, we expect to have our needs and wants listened to and met when it’s our turn for something.
Compromising is so easy but it takes two. If one person is always bending and giving that’s not a compromise at all; that’s being a push over.
 
3)  Accept that they will NEVER change:
This is the most difficult one of them all.  Some people feed off of the drama and making others feel bad about themselves and that’s just who they are.  Acceptance is so hard, especially when you always try to see the best in people. Recognizing that a person or condition is never going to change and people are who they are at their core is a hard pill to swallow.  At the end of the day you have to worry about yourself and what’s best for you. If you have set boundaries, voiced your opinions and concerns, tried compromise, etc and your still not being respected or listened to. Nothing is going to change that. You just have to do you and do what you want.  You have to ultimately accept that the situation you are in is probably permanent.
 
Xx, Kelly

Written by Kelly Wonderlin